February 16, 2009

The Only Winning Move is Not to Play

Here's what has been obsessing me the past week or so:


Super Mario Bros. 2 - or as it's known to the Yanks - the Lost Levels.  This game is the original Mario 2 and was not released in America because it was deemed too difficult.  See, the subtitle of the game is "Super Mario for Super Players."  The game was made specifically to challenge people who thought Super Mario was too easy - or to put it another way - was made specifically to piss off people who thought Super Mario was too easy.

I have been able to get all the way to 8-4, but the road is frought with obstacles not introduced for the sake of fun but introduced so you will fail.  Whereas most games feel like the creators are attempting to make something memorable and enjoyable, this feels like Shigeryu Miyamoto [the blessed genius that he is] is asserting his dominance to remind us sinners in the hands of this angry god that it is only his grace and love for all of mankind that keeps him from cursing our consoles with reverse warp zones and poisonous mushrooms.

If you play this game, I suggest you pick up the Super Mario All-Stars version as it allows you to save your progress at the start of every new level, so should you make it to 8-4 and lose all your lives, you do not have to start again from 1-1.  I eventually beat that version, so in my hubris, I assumed I could take on the mammoth task of disseminating the original.  I have been humbled and will offer penance.

--
Kid from Haunted:  Stupid hose - all wet.

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